This Thing Called "LIFE": July 2010

So the Journey begins...

So some people were wanting me to start up a blog so that they could keep up with all of my fertility updates, etc.

- I guess I will start from the beginning.

Juan and I have been together since September 2003. We moved in together in July of 2006 and were married April 2007. We had been doing to the whole "not trying to get pregnant but not trying not too" method from probably 2005 to late 2006. Then I decided that I was ready to start really trying. I have always had very irregular menstrual cycles, I am talking not have one for 2 years then have one for 8 months straight. So I went to my local OBGYN and told him we were wanting to have a baby but nothing had happened yet. So, he talked to me about all of the options and he prescribed me with Provera(help start periods) and Clomid(the fertility pill). I was on Clomid for about 7 or 8 cycles and still nothing. I got a little discouraged but was supposed to have gone back to the doctor in January 2009. Well some things came up and we were in the process of buying a new house so I didn't. Note that I didn't have a period in Dec 08 to March 09. We moved in our new house about March. Juan and I decided that we should just hold off on thinking about a baby since we had so much other stuff going on at the time. Well come April I was starting to have very sore breasts and sharp ovary and pelvic pain. I honestly thought something was very wrong with me, pregnancy NEVER crossed my mind. I called my gyno repeatedly telling what was wrong, they asked if I could be pregnant and I said no! There's no way I am pregnant!! So they scheduled to see me in 2 weeks. I thought I couldn't wait that long so I asked my aunt for advice and she said "Please take a pregnancy test! I want to make sure you are not pregnant before you try taking any medications." So the next day after work I went to WalMart and got 2 tests. This was on April 23, 2009. I went to the bathroom, peed on the test and just sat it down. At this point I was actually KIND OF starting to get my hopes up, but they had been crushed hundreds of times before when I always see NEGATIVE :( So I pick the test back up and to my amazement....It was POSITIVE!!! A BFP if I ever saw one! I instantly starting bawling! All the cute little ways of how I would tell Juan just flew out the window. I called him and was crying and told him and I think he was in just as much shock as I was! It was by far the happiest day of my life! I was going to be a MOTHER! WE were going to have a baby!

I called the clinic first the on Monday April 27 and told them I was indeed pregnant. They wanted to see me asap because of the pains I had been having. So I left work and went straight there. Of course I was petrified that they were going to tell me that I was having an ectopic pregnancy! I get there, he does an ultrasound and I get to SEE my baby, heartbeat and all! It was the absolute greatest feeling in this entire world! My due date was going to be December 18, 2009!!! But considering the problems that I had in the past, he prescribed me progesterone inserts, prenatal and a baby aspirin a day. Well things were going great, my mom and I were already buying things, I was thinking of names, you name it! Around the 13 or 14th I started spotting a little so I called my nurse and she said as long as it was brown then everything should be ok. So I thought everything was fine. Well, you all know the saying "all good things must end"....On Friday May 15th, I went to work and around 10:30 am I suddenly felt like I had just started my period. No pain or anything just felt like I had started. I thought OMG please NO NO NO! I ran to the bathroom to find my underwear full of blood. RED blood. I immediately starting crying, went and told my lead and she said "Go call the doctor now!" So I went and called the doctor and my mom. I think my mom knew b/c she kept saying "oh no, oh no" So her and my granny met me at the drs office right around 11. When we finally got back there they had me pee in a cup...and there was blood in that! I asked the nurse if anyone ever bled like that and everything still be ok with them and she said yes but I think it was only to keep me together until the dr got there. So he comes in and does an ultrasound and there's NOTHING there. He said "Have we done a ultrasound before?" and I said Yes we even got to see the heartbeat. So he kept looking and I could instantly tell by the look on his face that I had lost it. I started bawling! HARD...it was embarrassing. He just kept hugging me and patting me on the back. He even had tears in his eyes and kept saying "I am so sorry, I know how bad you wanted this" Of course my mom and granny were crying too. He gave me some pills that would help to further along the process and I just came home and cried and cried and cried. I could not understand for the life of me why God had taken my baby while there were SO many people out there who were so undeserving of children yet could pop them out like tic-tacs! I was very angry with God and with a lot of people. (Thank God I got over that!!)

So I had to go back to my doctor 3 months later which was September 2009. While I was there I mentioned the Fertility Clinic to him and if it was too early for me to consider it. He said absolutely not and that he had actually used to work for them! So I made an appointment at the fertility clinic with on January 28, 2010! I was very excited! So I finally get to my appointment after what seemed like years...I meet my doctor and we go over all of mine and Juans past.Then he does an ultrasound on me plus a TON of blood work, and Juan had to do the semen test. I also had to do have a HSG test done and that was the most painful thing I have ever experienced! OUCH!!! Everything came back perfect for Juan but come to find out I have P.C.O.S or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. My insulin levels were also very high, and I had a few other problems. So he prescribes me with Metformin 750 mg twice a day and with Prometrium inserts that I use starting on day 18 of my cycle to help start my period. He wanted me to take the Metformin for a while to see how it helps. I don't know how good it's helping my insulin but I know it sure makes me sick! I lost 13 pounds in TWO weeks!! Well he wanted to me call back after 2 months of Metformin and he was going to put me on Femera(another fertility pill) BUT if I was still having ovary and pelvic pain then we may look into something else. So I called back and said yes I am still having the pains, worse than ever actually! So I went back on July 14, 2010 and he said did another ultrasound and said that he thinks I may also have endometriosis. He said that he wants to do a laproscopy and a hysteroscopy. He aslo said that women with endo and PCOS usually end up in hysterectomy but we are going to try our best to get atleast one baby! He wants me to start a birth control pill to make sure I won't be pregnant during the surgery which I will start on cycle day 3. And IF I do have endometriosis, then he said we will more than likely go directly do aritificial insemination rather than back to fertility pills.

So here we are today is July 19th, cycle day 3 and I just took my first Loestrin24FE birth control pill! LOL! It's kind of funny actually...I never thought I'd be taking something to PREVENT me from becoming pregnant when that's what this whole deal is all about! But I definitely wouldn't want to take that chance either and with my luck...this would probably be the time I did! I go in for Pre-Op on August 2nd and then my surgery is August 3rd! I am SOOOO nervous! I've never had any kinds of surgeries...especially not any affecting my chances of child-bearing!

I know this was really long but I wanted to fill everyone in on how the journey has been so far. Which that's still not EVERYTHING! Now the posts won't be as long since I've already told my whole life story, lol!

Thanks for sharing my story with me. Talk to ya next post! :)

This Thing Called "LIFE"

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Nerves and Nightmares!

Monday, July 19, 2010